Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
