There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
