question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again