Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....