Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

do you know how bad I want you right now?

(1-630): View more from Illinois

As bad as i want you to stop texting me?

(630): View more from Illinois

is that a hint?

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(630): do you know how bad I want you right now? (1-630): As bad as i want you to stop texting me? (630): is that a hint? http://tfl.nu/28x8

Replies (11) Good night (875) Bad night (3414)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.

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(508): He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think. http://tfl.nu/5bqt

Replies (36) Good night (6469) Bad night (672)
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(434): View more from Virginia

Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.

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(434): Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/4ejh

Replies (32) Good night (1771) Bad night (4002)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Why are my keys in the refrigerator?

(1-205): View more from Alabama

You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.

(205): View more from Alabama

This explains so much.

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(205): Why are my keys in the refrigerator? (1-205): You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you. (205): This explains so much. http://tfl.nu/ouwy

Replies (30) Good night (18674) Bad night (1298)
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(630): View more from Illinois

you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...

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(630): you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling... http://tfl.nu/h6kn

Replies (38) Good night (1088) Bad night (3927)
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(518): View more from New York

She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her

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(518): She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her http://tfl.nu/ofex

Replies (65) Good night (14045) Bad night (2921)
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(916): View more from California

I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk

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(916): I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk http://tfl.nu/o3lp

Replies (12) Good night (2347) Bad night (958)
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(559): View more from California

can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.

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(559): can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock. http://tfl.nu/805r

Replies (16) Good night (5989) Bad night (1090)
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(808): View more from Hawaii

Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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(808): Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower. http://tfl.nu/ajbm

Replies (12) Good night (2265) Bad night (767)
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(417): View more from Missouri

I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.

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(417): I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW. http://tfl.nu/qeni

Replies (23) Good night (3852) Bad night (978)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them

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(978): we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them http://tfl.nu/sa9n

Replies (8) Good night (1567) Bad night (603)
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(303): View more from Colorado

trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes

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(303): trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes http://tfl.nu/w6ny

Replies (2) Good night (801) Bad night (498)
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(319): View more from Iowa

...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text

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(319): ...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text http://tfl.nu/8wuc

Replies (2) Good night (1601) Bad night (484)
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(210): View more from Texas

I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.

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(210): I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float. http://tfl.nu/rjkn

Replies (4) Good night (1139) Bad night (626)
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(248): View more from Michigan

He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.

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(248): He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day. http://tfl.nu/1wxb

Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (283)

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