If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.