Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?

(1-614): View more from Ohio

...yea

(614): View more from Ohio

She's valid.

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(614): So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence? (1-614): ...yea (614): She's valid. http://tfl.nu/5j37

Replies (3) Good night (3370) Bad night (567)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.

(307): View more from Wyoming

Haha. Niice.

(479): View more from Arkansas

Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.

(307): View more from Wyoming

both.

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(479): So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack. (307): Haha. Niice. (479): Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered. (307): both. http://tfl.nu/wvm3

Replies (46) Good night (6039) Bad night (923)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.

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(970): I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it. http://tfl.nu/8hng

Replies (29) Good night (10557) Bad night (1281)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?

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(704): Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane? http://tfl.nu/zikg

Replies (11) Good night (3447) Bad night (1100)
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(716): View more from New York

You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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(716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi

Replies (14) Good night (2446) Bad night (1206)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan

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(203): Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan http://tfl.nu/spkf

Replies (9) Good night (2279) Bad night (890)
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(904): View more from Florida

After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.

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(904): After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay. http://tfl.nu/z22k

Replies (4) Good night (2404) Bad night (864)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub

(1-519): View more from Ontario

I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.

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(519): I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub (1-519): I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first. http://tfl.nu/l0a0

Replies (5) Good night (1675) Bad night (848)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.

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(410): You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers. http://tfl.nu/ew7x

Replies (6) Good night (769) Bad night (1726)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD

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(614): Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD http://tfl.nu/nf04

Replies (9) Good night (1420) Bad night (478)
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(817): View more from Texas

Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.

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(817): Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount. http://tfl.nu/oq9w

Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (453)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.

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(330): Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants. http://tfl.nu/3hnq

Replies (6) Good night (479) Bad night (1194)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!

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(520): Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again! http://tfl.nu/ddjb

Replies (4) Good night (902) Bad night (322)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...

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(330): Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night... http://tfl.nu/aq2u

Replies (2) Good night (585) Bad night (355)
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(308): View more from Nebraska

I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.

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(308): I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault. http://tfl.nu/fi8o

Replies (1) Good night (507) Bad night (266)

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