This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
