i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
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I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.