If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's blow job season.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH