i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
