he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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