it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE