using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
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You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.