Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick

  (714): View more from California

  Ive only called 5 times

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  (714): He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick (714): Ive only called 5 times http://tfl.nu/v81b
  Replies (16) Good night (628) Bad night (1554)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.

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  (410): I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think. http://tfl.nu/cvjv
  Replies (16) Good night (4346) Bad night (1407)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower

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  (508): Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower http://tfl.nu/74dl
  Replies (21) Good night (9488) Bad night (666)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope

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  (678): I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope http://tfl.nu/y4eb
  Replies (3) Good night (1620) Bad night (836)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  did mom hear me barking???

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  sooo high. sooo many dog friends

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  (215): did mom hear me barking??? (267): oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one (215): sooo high. sooo many dog friends http://tfl.nu/gyg5
  Replies (7) Good night (3681) Bad night (780)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.

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  (479): That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story. http://tfl.nu/a5zg
  Replies (2) Good night (1600) Bad night (652)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS

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  (541): THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS http://tfl.nu/c3uu
  Replies (15) Good night (2343) Bad night (663)
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  (951): View more from California

  Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?

  (951): View more from California

  ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...

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  (951): Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch? (951): ...and then running into your dad at said grocery store... http://tfl.nu/jg4u
  Replies (10) Good night (1533) Bad night (604)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.

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  (850): I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud. http://tfl.nu/igxs
  Replies (1) Good night (1310) Bad night (475)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

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  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (957) Bad night (664)
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  (916): View more from California

  Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.

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  (916): Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though. http://tfl.nu/db3p
  Replies (15) Good night (407) Bad night (1595)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.

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  (240): Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum. http://tfl.nu/4chd
  Replies (12) Good night (518) Bad night (978)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.

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  (307): I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars. http://tfl.nu/4ihs
  Replies (2) Good night (565) Bad night (295)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.

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  (678): i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie. http://tfl.nu/fnuq
  Replies (9) Good night (517) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.

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  (702): I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult. http://tfl.nu/5461
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (308)

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