Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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