After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
