I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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