we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
