if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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