i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
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Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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