so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
