I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Randomize