I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
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So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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