i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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