Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
