9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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