its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
