Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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