so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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