You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
