summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Enjoy the penises
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
