I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
