I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
