just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
