Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
They are going to name an STD after you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
