sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
