So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
