You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize