Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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