Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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