oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
