I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
