Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
