Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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