he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize