yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
