So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
