id be glad to
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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