Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize