After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
that's an acceptable place to lick
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
