ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
