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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he was once again the drunkest girl at the party

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Seriously. Castrate.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life

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• (407): View more from Florida

  he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet

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