I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
