Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
