Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pants are for mortals
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
