he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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