She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
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I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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