i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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