Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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