It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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