Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
