Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
