Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
