I'm jealous of your bromance
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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