First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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