i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
