tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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