do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
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