no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
