you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
