I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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