a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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