Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
