I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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