Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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