We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize